Time to read : 6 Minutes
You’ve met the love of your life and decided to take the big step… move in together. You’ve combined furniture, you’re sharing a bathroom, and you’re figuring out whose turn it is to do the dishes.
But there’s one important topic you can’t skip if you want a successful new set-up… money.
Yes, it can feel taboo or unromantic to talk about finances. But if you’re sharing a roof and all the expenses that come with it, it’s an important conversation to have. And here are some reasons why:
Money-related issues cause arguments for 91% of couples.
Frivolous purchases and financial challenges are the top two causes of arguments for couples.
On the other hand, almost two-thirds of Aussies (65%) believe that couples who talk regularly about money are happier. And of course that’s what you want!
Teaming up financially can help you get ahead. It can be your ticket to escaping the singles tax and help you reach your financial goals faster. Here’s how to approach having those potentially awkward convos on money matters.
Start with full disclosure
You don’t need to prepare a PowerPoint presentation with numbers and visuals, but laying your cards on the table is important.
Before you can set any goals, have a clear understanding of what you’re both entering into and be honest about:
your income
existing debts, including credit cards and personal loans
the number of bank accounts or credit cards you have
your financial habits for example, are you a saver or a spender? Do you pay bills on time or late?
any regular financial commitments (subscriptions, car payments, child support, etc.)
The idea isn’t to judge or micromanage each other. It’s about building trust from the getgo for a strong foundation.
Talk about some shared goals
Now that everything is out in the open, you can set some goals you want to work towards together.
It might be a holiday, a home deposit, or maybe getting on top of debt. Whatever it is, work out how you’re both going to contribute.
Having a shared goal will give you something to work towards and a reason to budget, making it way easier to stick to. Plus, you get something to enjoy at the end of it!
Be aware: unrealistic goals can lead to frustration and be upsetting. Let’s say if you’re a saver and your partner is a spender, you can’t expect change overnight. While in the honeymoon stage, start small, and you can always build up to bigger goals in the future.
Decide how you’ll split expenses
Splitting bills and expenses 50/50 might be the easiest option, but it’s not the best approach for many couples. Why? Because it doesn't account for income differences or different financial situations. It can result in one partner feeling like they're being taken advantage of.
Here are some other options you can consider for splitting your finances.
Proportional split
If you and your partner earn significantly different amounts, there are a couple of ways to split the costs. The higher income earner could tackle the bigger expenses such as rent or mortgage while the other covers smaller expenses like utilities.
But probably a fairer way to do it is by working out the proportional split.
Here’s an example: Let’s say your income is $90,000 and your partner’s income is $50,000.
Your total household income is $140,000.
Your contribution to the bills would be $90,000 / $140,000 = 64.3%. This means your partner’s contribution to the bills would be 35.7% ($50,000 / $140,000).
So if your rent was $800 a week, your portion would be 64.3% of the $800 while your partner’s would be 35.7%.
A proportional split agreement like this can help you avoid any resentment if you're in different financial situations.
Full merge
Some people find it easier to merge their bank accounts completely and share all finances. Before you go ahead with this, clear communication is a must.
If you have two different attitudes to spending, discuss that openly in advance to avoid one of you feeling like you need to police the other's habits.
This option requires a lot of trust on both sides so tread carefully.
Hybrid
One of the easiest ways forward is to set up a joint account that you both pay a certain amount into, and then use the money to pay all shared expenses. This means you allocate an agreed amount you'll both pay, based on your financial situation.
For this to work, you also need to agree on what is paid out of the account – such as groceries, transport, and pet expenses – and how often you'll both deposit into it.
Note: the hybrid option allows you to maintain your personal account to pay for ‘personal’ expenses. Your pay would continue going into your personal account but you would transfer the agreed amount into the joint savings account.
Having a personal account means you can make your own financial decisions on buying golf clubs or getting hair and beauty done without impacting your partner. You may even be able to grow your personal savings.
Whichever method you choose, make sure you are both clear about what expenses you want to split and how you’ll do it.
Stay on track with a shared system
All these good conversations don’t mean much if you haven’t got the systems to back them up. If you aren’t sharing bank accounts, agree who will pay each expense and when the other will reimburse them. If you are sharing accounts, set up automation to ensure the account is topped up before bills payments come out.
A budget is your best tool for keeping everyone on track. It might not be sexy, but it will help keep you both on the same page.
Tools like Pocketbook, Honeydue and YNAB can help you manage your finances, or you can set up a shared Google Sheet if one of you is a spreadsheet wiz.
Don’t set and forget
We know budgets should be regularly reviewed to ensure they keep working for you. It’s the same with your finances as a couple. Situations can change – you could become sick or your partner can be made redundant – so check in from time-to-time and make sure you’re both on track and the system is working well.
If doing this monthly is a bit too often for you, pop a date in the calendar to review every three months. Remember, the idea is to work towards your shared finance goals for a brighter future together.
How to access help if you need it
There may come a time when your finances spiral out of control. If you or your partner ever need help to get out of debt, moneysmart.gov.au offers free financial counselling services. They can give you tips to negotiate with the organisations you owe money to.
While it’s not always easy to admit debt has become a problem, a third party could help you see the light at the end of the tunnel and take the pressure off both of you.
If you find conversations around money or your finances too awkward to tackle alone, you can also find support through services like Relationships Australia. They provide tools and connections that could help you and your partner feel more comfortable addressing any money woes.
Be aware: there's a difference between having a tricky or awkward conversation and feeling uncomfortable about how your partner controls money. If you are experiencing financial abuse, 1800respect.org.au can provide over-the-phone or live chat support.
Bottom line
Money doesn’t have to be a relationship killer. If you’re living together, you’re already sharing your lives, so why not approach your finances as a team?
Keep the conversation fluid – be honest and flexible – and check in regularly. It’s not just about avoiding conflict, it’s about building a financially secure future together.
Go deeper:
Sexually transmitted debt: could you be liable for your partner’s bad money moves?
What’s the best way to protect Bank of Mum and Dad (BoMaD) finances in case there’s a break-up?
Financial disclaimer
The information contained on this web page is of general nature only and has been prepared without taking into consideration your objectives, needs and financial situation. You should check with a financial professional before making any decisions. Any opinions expressed within an article are those of the author and do not specifically reflect the views of Compare Club Australia Pty Ltd.
