Time to read : 3 Minutes
Sarah Cameron's** life changed forever in 2017. In one day her whole life, and that of her family changed.
She lost her partner. She lost her home. Financially it nearly broke her.
This is her powerful story of how she rebuilt it all.
* Trigger warning: this article talks about suicide *
How everything in my life changed in one single day.
Five years ago I left a week of an amazing yoga teacher training and retreat that I was hosting. My yoga career was at its peak and I was ready for more success.
I left that sunny morning at the beach with my heart full.
Only to come home to my step son asking “Where is dad? I’ve been calling him all morning and he won’t answer his phone.”
I assumed he was with his girlfriend – the one he had left me for a year before.
You see, Tim was having a mid-life crisis in 2017. A handsome middle-aged man searching for youth and especially looking for that in younger women.
We still lived together – although we slept in separate rooms. We still shared all the bills 50/50 including the mortgage on our home of 10 years. We also shared the care of our children and being a blended family we took special pride in our tribe.
I just had to deal with the love of my life being in love with the attractive barmaid from the local pub.
That was in hindsight, the easy part.
I came home from work and was unpacking the car when the police knocked on the door.
He was dead.
And in that moment my life changed forever in so many ways.
Tim had committed suicide.
As we later found out Tim’s cheating followed him from one woman to another and he got caught out. Unfortunately, he did not see a way out of it except for death.
From the moment the police gave us the news, I had no idea that along with losing my best friend, I would lose my step son, my family home, as well as the money I had earned and invested into our shared lives.
It got worse: I lost my home.
I had no idea Tim's ex-wife would be legally allowed to move into our home as she became the only legal custodian of my step-son who now legally owned half of the house we lived in. She didn’t need to move into our home, she had her own, but chose to live in ours.
I moved out with my daughters and our beloved rottweiler. We temporarily hopped from house to house renting while owners were away and eventually moved in with a friend who lived in a big house alone.
It was at that point that my lawyer reminded me that ownership is nine-tenths of the law and that I should move back into my family home with the ex wife and my step son.
It was a reluctant but necessary choice.
It was not a welcoming or warm coming home as this woman had settled into our home the past 10 months and she called the police on us and said ‘we were trespassers’.
Me, and four teenagers and the two burly moving guys just kept moving ourselves back in. Of course the police were kind.
I had no idea then that eight months later the executor of the will would evict all of us, only two weeks before Christmas. I fought to keep us there until mid January.
The ex-wife had her own house to move back to, but I had nothing.
My family home was going up for auction to pay off the debts of my partner and pay out the beneficiaries. It also paid for his ex-wife to contest the will and she won.
I found a way to face the financial challenges I was left with.
After that, I could hardly get out of bed. I stopped working. I had zero energy to teach.
In the end, I decided to take three months off, which turned into seven months. My grief was overwhelming.
I slept a lot.
I meditated a lot.
When I had rested enough, I got back to work and exercise and decided that I would not give up.
At that point, I was facing potential homelessness as my mortgage had been a lot less than the current rental market.
My share of our mortgage had been $300 a week. Rentals for a 3 bedroom (which is what I needed) started at $750 week.
For me, having my own home is key to my happiness and security.
I have always owned a home since I was 25 and now that I was 46 it was even more important to me.
During that time, I have been fortunate enough to buy and sell four homes in my life and make a profit on each. I have always done this as a joint project with my male partners.
Now I had lost my entire life savings and I had to find a way to get back into the market.
Thankfully, I did get a payout from our family home that was sold for $990,000. After lawyers fees and all the other money distributed I walked away with just over $200,000.
Why I had to go through nine brokers to get a YES.
I needed a 20% deposit to get back into the market.
The low end of housing in my area is around $500,000. This will get you a knock down, reno job or a brand new one bedroom loft apartment. I set my eyes on the loft.
I researched how much I needed to make per annum to borrow for a home loan of nearly half a million dollars.
In 2020 it was $60,000 per year.
I applied to a broker and then my housemate suggested if I was going to try one broker I might as well try more. In the end, I tried nine brokers in total and one after the other they said ‘no’.
Being self-employed, with two kids, made it even harder.
But I refused to believe that nobody would lend me money. I had the deposit, I just needed their loan to do it.
Finally I found one broker who said yes. I did whatever Greg asked of me asap.
It was really hard to get a loan as a single mum.
So I just threw hard work at the problem, to earn as much as I could so that the banks would approve me.
In the end we applied to ANZ because they only needed one tax return, not two years worth like some other banks can require.
Your financial position can get better - trust me.
ANZ did approve me.
It was one of the best days of my life!
As a woman, a single mother, a hard worker and above all a person who needed a place to call home, I was able to buy a home – all by myself.
The bank needed a deposit of $111,000 and they would lend me $444,000.
My tiny one bedroom loft just cost me $555,000.
I am good with money. I don’t spend much on material things.
I invested my remaining fund into shares and continue to work hard.
Any lump sums of cash I get I put into my mortgage.
Right now I am paid two months in advance, so if anything happens to me, I know I have two months to sort something out.
It has been five years to the day since my world changed.
I survived, and I want you to know that you can too.
Could life insurance help if you unexpectedly lose a loved one?
Thanks to Sarah for sharing her story. At times of grief, stress over finances can make matters a lot worse. So we asked our experts how to prepare for the worst, financially. Lisa Varker, Compare Club's Senior Financial Advisor, looked at Sarah's situation and if life insurance could have helped. Here's her thoughts.
Suicide can be covered in a life insurance policy after a 13 month waiting period.
Wills can be contested. One way to safeguard yourself is to look into blended family, ownership and beneficiary nominations on your life insurance policy. This will help ensure the probate process goes smoothly for your loved ones.
If Sarah had of owned a life insurance policy for her partner she would have been protected from any contest. A lot of people are not aware that you can own a life policy and have your partner as the life insured.
The life insured – in this case Sarah's former partner – can not make any changes to the policy. Only the policy owner is allowed to alter it. It saves the need to nominate beneficiaries.
In Sarah's case, because of her step son, the situation was a little more tricky. This is because if a beneficiary is a minor the surviving parent would be the trustee for the minor's inheritance until he turns 18.
Go deeper: Here's our guide on how life insurance beneficiaries work.
Are there any special schemes for single parents looking to buy their own home?
What about Sarah's challenge on getting back on to the property ladder?
Sophie Matthews, one of our home loan experts, says there are steps you can take to find the right broker and home loan.
Be as upfront as you can about where your finances are and what you want to do.
The broker's job involves helping at every step of the loan application. A good broker will go through all the lenders they have access to, and the relevant government schemes, in order to find a loan that fits.
Do your best to keep your finances in order. That means keeping up with your repayments and try not to take out unsecured debt or pay day loans as that could count against you when you're applying.
There is also the Family Home Guarantee (FHG) scheme which support single parent families who want to buy a property.
Part of an eligible first home buyer’s home loan from a Participating Lender will be guaranteed by National Housing Finance and Investment Corporation (NHFIC).
Eligible buyers are able to buy a home with as little as a 2% deposit without paying for Lenders Mortgage Insurance.
The program opened on July 1, 2022 and will close June 30, 2025. There are 5,000 spots available each year to eligible single parents.
Finally, if you're feeling stressed, helpless or anxious, reach out for help, whether that's friends and family, your GP and support services. Here's a few useful numbers if you need to speak to somebody.
National Debt Line: 1800 007 007.
Life Line: 13 11 14.
Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467.
HeadSpace: 1800 650 890.
**Names changed to protect identities.
