Time to read : 3 Minutes
When a 2022 survey asked 2448 American adults about how they felt about romantic partners who hid their spending habits and/or income sources from them, 28 % said that financial infidelity was “worse than physical cheating”. And it seems a similar number of Australians agree.
What is financial infidelity?
Financial infidelity can come in many forms, from secret bank accounts, to private credit cards, or lingering debt that has never been revealed – even after several years of supposedly happy togetherness.
When it’s discovered, in that devastating way secrets often are, the impact can be enormous. The act of betrayal is just the beginning. Dig a little deeper and the tangle of financial secrets can lead to some serious long-term relationship troubles – as well as the budgeting nightmare that becomes one partner’s reality when they remember all the times they have scrimped and saved for the collective good of the partnership, only to discover that, while they are ordering small lattes from the 7-Eleven, their loved one was living it up at the shopping centre.
If financial infidelity has happened to you, or if you are guilty as charged with your own financial deceit, it’s time to face the truth and take the critical steps needed to change the behaviour – hopefully, for good.
3 ways to repair financial infidelity
1. Discuss your values about money
Understanding how you relate to money – and how your partner’s attitude compares – is important. If one of you is simply focused on paying the bills and keeping a roof over your head, while the other one is more concerned with keeping up appearances and spending on the latest and greatest clothes/appliances/holidays, your money values are seriously out of alignment. Unless you reach a compromise, financial infidelity may become a future issue again.
2. Create shared financial goals – and the strategies to turn them into reality
Clearly your financial goals diverged at some point and, although they may never be completely aligned, it’s important to share some common financial goals and work equally – as partners – to fulfil them.
It might be clearing debt, paying your bills on time, reducing the length of time on your mortgage, or agreeing to find a cheaper rental for a couple of years to help boost your savings. Or it might be saving for an annual holiday. Whatever your shared financial goals, get excited about them, track them and celebrate each time you take a significant step closer to achieving them.
3. Stick to a budget – together
If you’re paying off unwanted debt, it’s more important than ever to stick to a budget – but make it realistic. If life is all work and no play, resentments can simmer and lead to relationship issues. With the right support and guidance about how to reduce your debt while still enjoying yourselves every now and then with a little treat, you can help avoid feeling trapped and angry. By making the rules too hard, one partner can go rogue – and that’s not what you want.
The bottom line
When trust is broken, it needs to be repaired – and that can take time (and perhaps couples counselling). With financial infidelity, there can be even more at stake.
If financial infidelity has affected your credit rating, repairing that can take even longer – and can stop you from achieving your personal and professional financial goals.
Get professional advice from trusted financial advisers to help you understand the debt repayment steps you need to take to get back on track.
Go deeper: Worried about financial infidelity?
Financial disclaimer
The information contained on this web page is of general nature only and has been prepared without taking into consideration your objectives, needs and financial situation. You should check with a financial professional before making any decisions. Any opinions expressed within an article are those of the author and do not specifically reflect the views of Compare Club Australia Pty Ltd.
